Starting your own parent support group
A parent support group can be a wonderful addition to your community. Creating an online group is a simple way to form close networks with parents and professionals in your town or across the country. Depending on the type of group you create, you may also decide to hold physical meetings. This article will get you started on creating your own special needs network.
What kind of support do I want to give?
Do not try to be all things to all people. Other articles may tell you to look at the needs of your group. However, you will spend the most time keeping the group together. Make sure it's something that you will enjoy rather than it becoming a burden six months later. Create a group that personally benefits your own goals. For example, if you are home schooling your child and you want support in that area, then home schooling should be the primary focus. If you want to encourage positive changes within your school district then make that the central focus of your group.
Online support group versus physical support group
Do you want to just be an online presence or do you want to see members in person? Factor in how much time you are willing to give to determine the type of support group that is right for you.
Online community
The easiest way to bring people together and share information is through online groups. They require minimal effort while being a huge resource for those that belong to the group. There are three different types of groups:
Local Group
If you create a group local to your area, members can share advice and information that directly affects them in their own community. Your members would come from a specific school district, town or county. This type of group is good for planning activities such as playgroups and other social groups. The local online group can also act as an additional way to communicate in between monthly meetings.
Statewide Group
A statewide group is great when the goal is to provide general information and support. The group is larger so there is a wealth of knowledge coming from seasoned parents.
Several members will naturally fall into the role of offering advice and information. This helps if you have other time commitments. Disability specific and advocacy groups usually work well in this format.
National Group
The largest group allows anyone to be a member. These types of groups work best when you want to share information about a particular topic.
It may not be as personal as a local or state group but members will generate a lot of useful information from across the country. Groups in this category may focus solely on social skills, nutrition or other general subject. A handful of members will be very active while the remaining members will be lurkers (those that read posts but do not post themselves).
Physical support group
Running a parent support group that meets in a physical place requires a significant amount of time. You need to be willing to attend every meeting, moderate for the group and come up with topics, speakers and support materials. You will also need to find a place to hold the meetings. If scheduled meetings are right for you, here are some considerations:
Are there other support groups in my area?
Make sure there aren’t similar groups in your area. Do a geographical search in our Local resource directory and Groups section at One Place for Special Needs.
Find the national or state organization for your child’s disability. Ask them if there are any local chapters near you. If you have not found any chapters then there is a definite need for a group in your area.
Who do I want to invite to my group?
Depending on the type of group, you may wish to have parents only or open up membership to teachers, therapists and other professionals as well. Ask yourself if inviting everyone might hinder certain groups from speaking openly during meetings.
Where should we meet?
In the One Place for Special Needs local resource directory you can do a quick search for businesses and organizations who have space available for support group meetings. We encourage coffee houses, churches, therapy centers and other establishments that offer space to add their information in this section.
You can also ask non-profit groups in your area. Sometimes they allow groups to hold meetings in their common areas. If you still can’t find a place, your local hospital, church or library may offer free or rented space for meetings.
Frequency and duration of meetings
Assume that you will be in attendance at every meeting. How often do you want to meet (weekly, monthly, quarterly)? Do you want meetings in the daytime (excluding full-time workers) or in the evening? Do you want an hour meeting to focus on one topic or would you rather hold a two-hour meeting that allows time for a speaker to give a presentation? Do you want to have meetings during the summer when your child is home from school?
Other considerations might include the expense of print materials for attendees and food and beverages. Once you have a schedule, be consistent. Your members also have time commitments and appreciate a dependable start and end time.
Tips for the actual meeting
Greet your members – Make your members feel welcome by saying hello.
Seating – a classroom chair arrangement is good when there is a speaker giving a presentation. An oval or circular chair arrangement is better for encouraging members to speak on a topic.
Be a good moderator – a good moderator is a good listener. Use open-ended questions to encourage others to talk. Steer the topic to other areas if members show an interest. Be non-judgmental when others speak.
Be diplomatic but in charge – turn around unproductive conversations. Give time limits to members who monopolize discussions.
Before and after mingling – allow some extra time before or after a meeting for your members to talk freely and exchange information.
Finding speakers
In the One Place for Special Needs local resource directory you can do a quick search for speakers that can give talks at group meetings and conferences. We encourage educational consultants, financial planners, therapists and other speakers to add their information in this section. Other speakers may include your school district’s superintendent or special education director, social worker or even a knowledgeable parent.
Finding volunteers
Once you have had a couple meetings you will find a few regulars who share your interests. See if they can get together for a private meeting to discuss what direction they think the group should be headed. This will generate some good ideas.
People are usually motivated to work on something that is interesting to them. Find some common objectives and decide on how you can accomplish them together.
Assign roles and responsibilities. Ask if they know other parents that would be interested in these same ideas. Have your new best friends bring on board new active members who can help make things happen in your community.
Getting the word out
Communicate regularly with your members. Find a consistent way to get information out to your group. If your group is small you may wish to simply use e-mail to send out meeting reminders. If you plan on increasing your membership, setting up a group at One Place for Special Needs allows more people to find you with very little effort. No matter where you set up your group you can add your group information in our local resource directory and promote your meetings and presentations in our Events section.
Don’t forget to support yourself
It is easy to suffer from leader burnout. Do not be discouraged if only four people show up for meetings. Use those core people to find a common goal and then get to work.
If you feel yourself getting stressed don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your group will learn to rely on you (Sometimes too much!). Make arrangements with your core members to be co-leaders or to rotate leadership responsibilities.
Make time for yourself. If you find your stress levels are reaching new highs, don’t feel afraid or too proud to let your spouse, relative or close friend know you need a break.
Let them take the kids while you treat yourself to dinner with a friend, shopping with no purpose or even just an uninterrupted soak in the bathtub. Do not feel guilty! You deserve this time to yourself. You perform an important service for families by running the support group. But your own family should come first. Your overall health and mental wellbeing is invaluable to you and your family.
Extra reference
For more information about creating your own support group, our online resource directory has helpful articles for support groups leaders. Read our next article, Communicating to your members.